Saturday, 14 September 2013

Some Days...

    Well i feel some days are just waste.. progressive wise. There are days when you don't feel like going to classes or opening a book and you waste all your time sleeping or surfing internet. I don't have solutions to these days but i am having one of these days .May be that's why i am writing even. Otherwise if you are too immersed in studying you don't feel like doing anything mind consuming except studying.

You see i quit my college the last day of my exam and dived into IAS coaching. People told me you have nothing else to loose, till your joining comes take a chance. I had a hard time convincing my mom too for this. She wanted to me sit at home for a while and manage it. Strangely it was the exact opposite thing she wanted me to do last year.She wanted me to go out either at pretest of job , M tech or even marriage. She hated me a lot in those days. Hated me for wasting money, time, marriage prospects. But now her attitude has changed completely. I often find her praising me for my perseverance, hard work, intelligence. From being no good daughter i became ideal daughter overnights. My all weaknesses are now my quirks. Now she claims she always knew i was going to do well. She has my janampatri to validate that claim. Well. this is how our family changes after success.  When i see my brother and sister respecting me like anything i think i never realised how much i needed this selection. Paradoxically most of your friends stay the same of course of they have not failed in this exam.

My coaching is from unearthly 6.30 in the morning and i am not been able to wake up at that time since last week. I feel terrible. No matter hoe much i try to tell my self it's okay but i no it's not. Then again i am not even sure i'll get time to prepare for it. My joing would probably come till december. And after waiting three and half years for it i am in no moon to take extension.

I know this got sort of personal but i am a human being after all. I can't write high funda stuff all the time.

Had i known IAS is actually easy i would have invested my mind into this. But at that time it was equivalent to going to the moon. So i aimed at lesser level and expected even less.
I wish someone has told me all this before. That you can achieve whatever you put your mind into. 


  1. Searched Kakkar Sir on Google and luckily stumbled up on your webpage. Read all your blogs word by word and now i can feel a whole in positivity imbibed into me. Your experiences have motivated me. As it is just a begining of a long journey for me & I don't know for how long this energy will last but whenever i will feel being deflected from my goals would read them all again. Thanks. Keep Enlightening us with your experience. :-)

  2. Thanks rohit yadav...I am glad i could be of any use to you..
    These comments keep me motivated..

  3. you are a budding blogger yourself..

  4. sometimes being a bad boy in colege lyf leads to a stage in life when u want to achieve smthing but there is noone to guide u. At such point u feel d absence of support n motivation.

    Tankz for ur precious path dear :)

  5. My uncle had very frustrating life when he was preparing for IAS exams. He failed many times, had to go through embarrassment and shame in front of relatives and friends. But he never gave up, he studied and finally got the job at high court as ARO.

    Competitive Exams Study Material