Well, for the few days it was very heady and i was literally in the clouds but now it again feels normal. But as some changes i discovered are as following..
I got to know who my real well wishers are!! Few of my so called friends didn't even wished me congratulations .Some were so jealous that it was apparent.One of my best friends(We used to stay together ALL THE TIME) now can't see me eye to eye. And she is not even engineer who could give this exam or ever planning to give this in her whole life. Few of my long lost friends found my number and wished me others managed to message me on facebook. And it's cool. I really regret the lost friend but i guess i should have guessed it earlier when i was planning to make her my life long friend. I thought being unsuccessful make you lose friends but the vice versa is also true!!
I need to take all the congratulations as if it is my first one. I know you might be thinking how is this painful. But it is. My cheeks ache from smiling (fake) so much. Acting must come natural to you.I must say the kind words all weighed and watched as i could be considered egoist and god knows what. I would hate if someone tells other "she changed after selection". But it is so true for others instead of me.Now no one wants to talks to me.They are feel so unsure for themselves.But i don't care. I still have my goods friends with me who are genuinely happy for me.
My mother is insanely happy. She is sooooo happy i feel it was worth it. She has discovered a new found respect in others eyes.Though i feel like telling her don't be a show off, but when i remember her anxiety, her concern about my future and not to mention her depletion of resources on me for past 3 years i just let her be.
I feel thankful to all the PSU's where i was not selected. I wouldn't have studied so far had i ve been selected early in my coaching days.
All i want to say that a phase comes when we are so unsure of ourselves, insecure about our future.We see our friends moving on and we feel struck.But as in hindi movies good ending is there.But keep on studying till then. No matter how much you feel it is not getting in your head, how much you feel you are going to forget it, how much the other guy is studying....These things doesn't matter much. Everyone has their own journey, own lessons and own mistakes. And God has a plan for you too .I know a guy who tried telling me the same things and i didn't believe it but now i feel like going back and trusting him. But then again i wouldn't have worked so much if i believed him and was sure of my success!!